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Companions
Missing the Connection	Wendy Anastasiou
You've taken training classes. You've practiced the steps. You've watched that “one guy” on TV. You've read some books, asked for advice, and nothing is working. Your dog still doesn't listen, and you’re still frustrated. You're sure you did everything just the way “they” said. So, what's missing? What's missing is something no one told you about. In our hurry up, “get it now” society, what's missing in dog training is what's missing in most facets of our lives, a connection. Dogs are social creatures that rely on, and react to, relationship principles. Their desire to please and work on demand isn't something dogs are born with; it's something you must foster. Although this concept is alive and well within inner dog trainer circles, it seems to be losing ground in common training classes. Even trainers who use positive methods often ignore the key aspect to all good training, developing a relationship. Teaching people to develop a relationship with their dog isn't often done. Sounds silly doesn't it? Didn't you get a dog to have a relationship? Doesn't the trainer understand its importance? The problem is trainers assume the connection is already there; they’ll make the assumption that you actually have a relationship with your dog. Unfortunately, just because you bought a dog, feed him, and let him sleep in your bed, doesn't mean you are connected; all it means is you are a caretaker. So, if your training is slow or has hit a wall, look at your relationship. Is it all it can be? Or is there something missing? Healthy relationships for training are built from trust, respect, and communication. If you keep these concepts in mind when interacting with your dog, your relationship can grow, your dog's connection with you will get stronger, and training will become more effective. Dogs work harder and faster for people they have a healthy relationship with. This is why sometimes a trainer can get your dog to do certain commands when you can't; the dog and trainer have little history; so the connection between them usually hasn't been damaged. Trust is built through shared experiences. Your dog learns to trust or distrust you every time you interact with him. If you're fair in your punishment as well as your praise, he will learn to trust you. If your punishments are poorly timed, and/or ill placed, he will learn to distrust you. You can actually train your dog to be wary of your moods and movements by breaking trust; training progress slows as your dog becomes more concerned with your behavior than with learning new skills. Respect and communication are created by recognizing your dog's cues and limitations. Paying attention to the signals your dog sends, and making adjustments to your training shows you respect his abilities at this moment. Instead of disregarding your dog’s messages, try listening to the behaviors he offers. Dogs are communicating their truth all the time; attempting to understand the behaviors your dog offers, instead of getting frustrated and angry, will increase your communication and respect. Good communication encourages dogs to try harder, and work faster. Now that you know the components to complete the connection, you can change the way you interact with your dog and improve your training experience. If you communicate with your dog, and adapt your training to his truth, by being a benevolent leader who is flexible, your dog will want to work for you because he'll feel the connection you've built compelling him to try harder. Happy Training! Wendy Anastasiou owns Life with Fido, Canine Behavior Modification Counseling and Training, which specializes in creating happy, well-adjusted canines, one paw at a time. Call 937-470-7684, or visit lifewithfido.com for information on in-home consults and private classes, in-hospital consults, and group classes at Hartwood Animal Hospital, hartwoodanimalhospital.com
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