The Myth of Self-Esteem

50 Ways to Stop Sabotaging Yourself [and become the confident person you’ve always wanted to be]
by Terry Diebold, M.A., M. Div.
Hado Press
ISBN 978-0-9816604-0-0
 
It is a rare treat to sit and converse with a person who listens to you as well as reflects on herself and openly talks with you.  Perhaps it’s because Terry Diebold is a licensed marriage and family therapist or an ordained minister. Maybe it comes from being a friend of Eileen Boyd, who introduced us. Heck, it could be the comfortable setting upstairs at The Griffin, where Terry and I sat around a coffee table on a sofa and had a cup of Joe together amidst shelves of books, Terry’s being one of the hundreds of titles available at Eileen’s bookstore and coffee bar. It might be all of that. Whatever the cause, the effect was inspiring and long-lasting.
 
Terry and I spoke a little bit about her book [which has received rave reviews from the psychiatric and education communities] and much more about people in general, human nature, and raising children. She reiterated what my brother-in-law, Dr. James Corry, had advised me when my wife and I began to raise our daughter: “Don’t dote over every little thing she does.”  Set parameters, create high expectations, don’t inflate or deflate her self-esteem – all those messages came through from Terry, too. Want a practical example?
 
Your child draws a picture and you say it’s perfect. Good job, Mom, right?  Wrong. Try something like, “That’s interesting, tell me what you think of it and what it means to you.”  See, it could be that he thinks it stinks or he did it hurriedly and easily.  You sure you want to label that as “perfect”?  Ah ha!  This parenting thing ain’t easy. There are thousands of nuances to deal with daily. Terry’s book will help you through it.
 
“Myth” is a book with great depth of thought. The author discusses such topics as failure; the soul and spirit; independence; passion and creativity, the family; the universe and love; the need to rest; the mistake of faint praise; and, the journey we call work. Her book disputes assumptions about relationships, child development, personal responsibility, and the messages we give and take on a daily basis. Terry’s background solidifies her voice of knowledge and reason. She has taught creative writing at the university level; is presently a psychotherapist [and founder of the Center for Family Counseling in Fredericksburg]; a parish associate with the Presbyterian Church of Fredericksburg; and, a conflict management specialist.
 
I was never big on how-to books but this one is a worthy read. It makes you think – not a bad exercise in good use of your time – instead of talk, assume and repeat what’s familiar but not necessarily true! Get the book at The Griffin, 723 Caroline Street, and visit Terry's website at www.terrydiebold.com